A Single Christian Woman’s Corporate Confession
Somewhere between strategy calls, tight deadlines, and spirit-led journaling, I find myself here again: praying over the possibility of love.
Not the Instagram love. Not the hyper-curated, surface-deep version.
But the real thing. Intentional. Purposeful. Spiritually grounded. A connection that sees me fully — the boardroom me and the barefoot-at-the-altar me.
But if I’m honest, I’m still unlearning how to hope for love without fearing it.
I’ve Found Comfort in My Isolation
After my last heartbreak, I didn’t just grieve — I retreated.
I wrapped myself in work, worship, and long walks that didn’t require emotional risk. I built a version of peace that didn’t depend on anyone else. And that solitude? It started to feel like safety. It was controlled. Predictable. Quiet.
And slowly, isolation became a rhythm I didn’t question.
But lately… I’ve been wondering whether my comfort has also become my cage.
Elevated, But Not Always Seen
At work, I am required to lead. To show up with presence, poise, and clarity. My experiences have elevated me — pushed me beyond my peers, both in age and in understanding. On paper, it’s empowering. In practice, it’s isolating.
I’ve had to carry myself like I’m ten years older — sometimes ten layers tougher.
I’ve been praised for my strength, but rarely held for my softness.
I’ve been told I’m impressive — but not often invited to just be.
And the weight of it is this:
How do you bond with your peers when you’re no longer in step with them?
How do you connect when your growth has made you feel like the odd one out?
How do you rest in relationships when the world is used to you performing?
“He has made everything beautiful in its time…”
— Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)
The Quiet Cost of Always Being “The One Who’s Got It”
People often think loneliness comes from being without love. But sometimes, it comes from being without relatability.
I look around and see people dating casually, forming friend groups easily, letting their guards down over brunch or beach days. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about legacy, spiritual alignment, emotional intelligence, and whether a man can pray with me before we dream together.
I’m not asking for too much. I’m asking for what God promised.
But waiting for that kind of love — when the world is moving fast and surface-deep — feels like swimming upstream with no life vest.
“But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.”
— Romans 8:25 (NLT)
Real Love Requires Real Access
Here’s what I’m learning in this season:
If I want love — real love — I have to let people in.
Not just past the resume, not just through the armor of success, but into the quiet rooms of my heart where fear, softness, and still-healing parts live.
Because love can’t grow where there’s no access.
Connection can’t bloom where there’s no vulnerability.
And God can’t bless the mask — only the truth.
So slowly, I'm peeling back the layers.
Giving myself permission to be seen as I am: not just strong, but searching. Not just elevated, but in need of safe ground. Not just successful, but still becoming.
What I Know Today
It’s okay to be out of step with your peers — you’re not behind or ahead, you’re just becoming at your own pace.
It’s okay to need rest from being “the strong one.”
It’s okay to want someone to love the soft, searching version of you — not just the one who shows up with answers.
Because I’m not just a corporate Christian woman navigating dating.
I’m a soul in progress. A daughter of God learning how to be seen, not just celebrated.
And that, too, is holy.
“If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”
— Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)
🌿 Mini Devotional: Becoming While Waiting
Theme: God hasn’t forgotten you — He’s forming you.
Waiting can feel like punishment when you’re ready to love and be loved. But in the kingdom of God, waiting is not wasted — it’s preparation. It’s pruning. It’s the softening of our control and the deepening of our trust.
Maybe the delay isn’t denial — maybe it’s divine protection.
Maybe you’re not being overlooked — maybe you’re being over-prepared.
You were never meant to settle for something you have to chase. God is crafting a love that knows how to find you. A love that honors your growth, your healing, your softness, and your fire.
Until then?
Let your wholeness be the place you rest, not the place you perform.
Let God show you that the right person won’t be intimidated by your elevation — they’ll be inspired to rise with you.
